Well, I am a teenager who doesnt know what love really is. Because love should be that, you wouldnt look at someone else and fall in love or like him/her. You'll stay to one unless you have the right reason why you have to let go. In my case, I had my first relationship in the year 2008 so I had like one relationship in 2008, 3 in 2009 and 1 in 2010. So, there were 5 guys in my life before now. It was hard to have a loyal guy in your life and it's hard to not be able divide times for you to enjoy your life and also spend time with the one you love.
So, I am going to blog about my first relationship to the last and why we didn't last long.
(2008)My frist relationship is with a guy named Nismo. He proposed to me when I was teaching him tagalog in a chat. He asked me what 'I love you' means in tagalog then I answered him, I said ''I love you'' in tagalog is ''Mahal Kita'' then he said ''Mahal kita'' to me and I was like ''Okay, that's correct'' and he asked if I feel the same way. I was startled by that and sort of happy. It was the first time I ever had a guy said to me that he love me so I was excited and eager to have a boyfriend like myf riends who had their first love when they were 5. HAHA! I knooooow right. 5? That's like, whatever. Anyway, I said yes and then we're together then after one week I wanted to end it because I know that he wants to see me anytime he want, like I said I am not outgoing and not the type who likes going out with a guy or with guys, so, I had to end it and he said that he don't want to. I forced him and then after one week, we were back together again then after 2 weeks we officialy broke up because he started talking dirty. -.-''
(2009)The second was with a guy named Bobo (his real name is Rauf). He's a sweet one but also an emo and not understanding. So, I had to break up for that reason. Sad to say, we were together for 5 months. Then we broke up because, first, he is still inlove with his first girlfriend and he cheated on me when I was in the Philippines. I was so stupid to forgive him when he cheated on me. I loved him so I guess that's why he decided to repeatedly lie to me. I still forgive him then one night, he blocked me. :'( It hurts. After him, about 7 months later, a guy named Elmer came into my life and gave a sweet smile on my face everyday. awwww! We lasted for about 3 months then we broke up because he have a case. I KNOW RIGHT! All the presents he gave me when we were together and it was everyday. He gave me stolen presents. I was his first love then when I broke up with him, he went to the club every night (in the Philippines). So, yeah. The third guy is Andie. We lasted for like 2 weeks 'cause he said he couldn't stand a long-distance relationship. Dude, I said to him, ''Dude, when I was in the Philippines, we barely see each other too because you live in a condo or something for college'' so his reason was pfft!
(2010) last guy. Named Zierul. My bff's uncle (he was 16/17) I was 15. We last for about 2 months then we broke up because, I don't know why. I forgot why. Then after that, he proposed back so we lasted for about 3 months. We broke up because I barely talk to him, I barely text him or misss called him. I admit I was wrong. So, he had no choice but to break up with me and we also had our first quarrel which I dont like. Never in my relationship with a guy we had quarrels. So, he made me love him more but we ave to break up. I love him, still tho until this year and it stopped in like June.
It stopped because I have to move on. He have. I have to move on too.
Soooo, after that. I realized why I barely text him or call him or missed call him. It's because I am not ready for a relationship, I am not ready to meet my boyfriend and walk together or hold hands together in public, I'm afraid that something else might happen. Then, I also enjoy my own privacy and I enjoy my time alone with my family that I don't have to worry about who I have to call when or when I have to text him. Plus, I also understand why they are mostly frustrated or stressed. Because I can't go out with them and like have dinner like other teenagers. That's it.
I am happy tho. I realized that I love my own time alone with my family only and that also my parents dont want me to have someone special yet. I have to focus on my studies. If I have a boyfriend, I have to like call him or text him, if I dont, he'll be like mad or sullen. I study like after school 4-5 hours then I sleep then wake up and eat and then help my parents witht he dishes sometimes my mom's sister in-law will wash it, so I just have to go upstairs, watch tv and then study for one hour and then sleep. So, I am sure I don't have any time for that special one.
I hope someday, when the time comes. I finally will be ready for a relationship and will have the time for that person. :)
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