I have a friend. WELL HAD! We were good friends. We had complications like we don't know how to like start a conversation between each other, I don't know how, well sometime sI do but he was kinda like not in the mood oh and we had a misunderstanding before. Not gonna tell why.
But I texted him on his special day greeting him and I said losing him is worth crying a river which is a bit corny but sweet and true. THEN, we're like texting each other and whats app-ing, skype-ing. After that, I barely talk to him because I am busy studying (I got a lot to catch up to).
Days ago, I saw his status that what I said to him 'losing you is worth crying a river' is a lie. why?! how is that a lie? I cried. I didn't lose him tho, we sort of ended or friendship which was really frustrating and sad because he's the kind of friend who listens to me and like worry about me when I'm sad and stress and all that.
Then, he went to our house for hari raya. after that, like days after that. WE didnt talk anymore. I inboxed him in fb yesterday, he was on because he updated his status like 5 mins before I inboxed him. I said that I dreamt about him. He's like ignoring me. He's never like this. I dont know what his problem is. But whatever it is, I am tired. Why not tell me he is ignoing me because he hates me or I am a problem to him or a big distraction (he is sitting for his big exam this yr so he could go to college)
Instead of ignoring me leaving me wondering why, its better that he just tell me what the problems are. I'll understand. ugh!!
Well, maybe we should AGAIN end our friendship for life so that there's no more dramas. I'm tired. He LOVED me before, I LOVE him too. There is a big difference between LOVED and LOVE.
But now, I wanna make a deicision. Oh wait, I have. Now that he's inner self's revealed, I don't think I can keep up and like be a part of his life and I dont think I want him to be a part of my life either. I'm used to people coming into my life and walking out without a fucking goodbye. So, whatever happens. When you leave, don't forget to bring everything with you, 'cause any left overs are going to the trash.
BUH-BYE!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Maths maths maths maths maths, angelssss
I don't know why I love maths but it doesnt love me back. I mean, I understand it, whatever happens I'll find a way to solve it but it's sort of moving away from me. WHY?!
I am so guilty right now, 'cause I handed in an unfinished exercise to my teacher yesterday. I was going to but I was out of time. I know it's not an appropriate reason (or is it?-whatever) BUT I HANDED IN AN UNFINISHED EXERCISE! ANGEL EXERCISE!
I am so guilty, sad and disappointed in you maths. I am breaking up with you! I'm cheating on you with a much easier to understand and love and it's algebra. lol. I promise you that I'll get over you and move on. GOODBYE!
I am so guilty right now, 'cause I handed in an unfinished exercise to my teacher yesterday. I was going to but I was out of time. I know it's not an appropriate reason (or is it?-whatever) BUT I HANDED IN AN UNFINISHED EXERCISE! ANGEL EXERCISE!
I am so guilty, sad and disappointed in you maths. I am breaking up with you! I'm cheating on you with a much easier to understand and love and it's algebra. lol. I promise you that I'll get over you and move on. GOODBYE!
This year's birthday. who? MINE.
One of the days I love is birthdays or born day. When I was little, I tot 'birthday' means the day you become older, well, technically it is. lol. also, I tot birthday means cakes with candles. lol.
This year's birthay is BONGA! we celebrated my birthday on one of the finest and famous restaurants in Brunei, The Dynasty Restaurant is a 5 star restaurant, you can also eat the foods when you are on air. by air I mean the sky, and by sky I mean sitting on the sort-of-comfy seat with the belt and that really heavy metal thing with three wheels and two wings. lol. On the Royal Brunei Airlines, you can eat the foods from the dynasty restaurant or the emperor's restaurant.
Anyway, we celebrated it there with some family members and I HAD FUN. I'm not a crazy partier, I am a formal partier. lol. So, it was a formal birthday party. I wore my fav pink top my mom gave me. The foods are 500 portions of dimsum, 500 portions of shrimp pocket, 4 large size mixed vegetables, 4 large size fried noodles and loads more. I can't remember. I ate loads of shrimp pockets. lol. crunchy fried shrimps. I WANT SOME NOOOOOW! LOL
Here are some photos.
Me and my cake, the cake is almost as big as that table. well, sort of.
Me with my iPhone4. Replaced it with galaxy tab 2.
Well, this is about it. I got loads of photos actually, but I can't put them here. The internet is kinda slow right now. SO ANNOYING!
Next yr, since I am not yet sitting for my o lvl exam, hopefully. I wanna celebrate my birthday together with my lolo and lola's gold anniversary, not on the same day tho. I'd like to cleberate my birthday in the Philippines with my lolo and my lola. Yayyy. :)
This year's birthay is BONGA! we celebrated my birthday on one of the finest and famous restaurants in Brunei, The Dynasty Restaurant is a 5 star restaurant, you can also eat the foods when you are on air. by air I mean the sky, and by sky I mean sitting on the sort-of-comfy seat with the belt and that really heavy metal thing with three wheels and two wings. lol. On the Royal Brunei Airlines, you can eat the foods from the dynasty restaurant or the emperor's restaurant.
Anyway, we celebrated it there with some family members and I HAD FUN. I'm not a crazy partier, I am a formal partier. lol. So, it was a formal birthday party. I wore my fav pink top my mom gave me. The foods are 500 portions of dimsum, 500 portions of shrimp pocket, 4 large size mixed vegetables, 4 large size fried noodles and loads more. I can't remember. I ate loads of shrimp pockets. lol. crunchy fried shrimps. I WANT SOME NOOOOOW! LOL
Here are some photos.
Well, this is about it. I got loads of photos actually, but I can't put them here. The internet is kinda slow right now. SO ANNOYING!
Next yr, since I am not yet sitting for my o lvl exam, hopefully. I wanna celebrate my birthday together with my lolo and lola's gold anniversary, not on the same day tho. I'd like to cleberate my birthday in the Philippines with my lolo and my lola. Yayyy. :)
what will I spend on $10,000
I live in Brunei Darussalam (the abode of peace) is a royal state located on the North Coast of the Island of Borneo in Southeast Asia and the only royal state on the island of Borneo. Population: 400,000 (OMG!) Brunei is the kingdom of unexpected treasures. Soooo, as we all know. Our money is in DOLLARS ($)
Next month, papa is going to buy me a brand new latop. Macbook Pro 17 inches which costs about $3,000+. So, I was thinking that if ad gave me $10,000. What would I spend it on..
My anwers would be, 2 beats headphones preferably pink with sparkles and black that oes with everything also with sparkles, sd card usb, iPhone5 and a phone for texting when I'm in the Philippines. It's dangerous walking around with an iPhone on ur hand. lol. So I'll spend like maybe $5,000. So I'll have another $5,000 on my hand.
In the Philippines, I and my siblings have our very own pocket money. Papa and mama gave us P10,000 last 8 months. (Which is exactly $400) We were at the St.Luke's hospital for mom's operation, we were at the Philippines for about 4 months. So, it's about enough. A little shopping and then some of my money I spent it on foods. lol. ANYWAY, my other $5,000. I am going to take $1000 out of thr $5000 so I'll have $4000 left. I am going to keep it to add it to my pocket money when I'm in the philippines which is going to be P170,000 plus P10,000 I'll have P180,000. More than enough for shopping.
I heard that dad is going to give us P100,000 this year for our one month vacation in the Philippines (we sort of want to go to Cebu for 1 week, relaxing). LOL. I really cant wait to go back. BUT I am more excited for my end of year exam. SO EXCITED AND SCARED!
Wish me luckkk! I love my life. xoxo
Next month, papa is going to buy me a brand new latop. Macbook Pro 17 inches which costs about $3,000+. So, I was thinking that if ad gave me $10,000. What would I spend it on..
My anwers would be, 2 beats headphones preferably pink with sparkles and black that oes with everything also with sparkles, sd card usb, iPhone5 and a phone for texting when I'm in the Philippines. It's dangerous walking around with an iPhone on ur hand. lol. So I'll spend like maybe $5,000. So I'll have another $5,000 on my hand.
In the Philippines, I and my siblings have our very own pocket money. Papa and mama gave us P10,000 last 8 months. (Which is exactly $400) We were at the St.Luke's hospital for mom's operation, we were at the Philippines for about 4 months. So, it's about enough. A little shopping and then some of my money I spent it on foods. lol. ANYWAY, my other $5,000. I am going to take $1000 out of thr $5000 so I'll have $4000 left. I am going to keep it to add it to my pocket money when I'm in the philippines which is going to be P170,000 plus P10,000 I'll have P180,000. More than enough for shopping.
I heard that dad is going to give us P100,000 this year for our one month vacation in the Philippines (we sort of want to go to Cebu for 1 week, relaxing). LOL. I really cant wait to go back. BUT I am more excited for my end of year exam. SO EXCITED AND SCARED!
Wish me luckkk! I love my life. xoxo
Saturday, September 24, 2011
All the fun times I can't forget
Since I was a little girl, all I ever get was, well, fun times. There were bad times but I was a little girl. FUN was more important than BAD. If I could pause the moment of time, I'd pause it many times. The time I was in the Philippines, playing with my cousins and mocking dogs. lol. Then, I'd also pause the time when I was fishing using a string, stick and leafs for baits. I'd catch some small fishes, no, we can't eat it. We can keep it as our pet. I will pause the time a billion times. If I could.
Okay, so I am just going to type some of the fun times I remember (from I was a kid until now):-
When I was a little girl:-
Fun memories now:-
Oh-hoh. so many! like the time we went to the beach, the time I joke around with my siblings talking about funny stuffs. And then we dance in our room or mock each other and laugh it at the end. The time we joke around with out parents and watch tv, movies and so many stuffs. It's just beautiful
I wanna cry. lol. I wish there are more beautiful, fun, memorable, unforgetable, sweet, shimmering memories to come. My baby sister's birthday is in 3 days. I am going to make that day her special day ever.
I hope you people enjoy your times with your family. Always make them happy and always be happy with them. They are thos epeople who will be there for you through anything wether you are married or not. right? So, be happy and make really beautiful memories. okay?
xoxo Jessica.
Okay, so I am just going to type some of the fun times I remember (from I was a kid until now):-
When I was a little girl:-
- We went to the Singapore for the first time, my dad bought me really big toys like slides, house, make up table with the chair *I still have the chair* and more. My dad even bought me a big yellow monster truck. No, not automatic. No batteries. I have to cycle it.
- Have a bath with my cousins in the same bathroom in the same house. *lol* I KNOW! we were kids. lol
- Play water with my brother in the bathroom, such fun time. We had two big basins. So we'll climb in the basin and then play with my brother like water fight. lol. I dont know what you people call it. whatever. lol. pardon me for my english. I'm not perfect. I am still in the process of studying big time. lol
- We went to the Philippines (my first time on the plane, I dont remember) but it was my first time seeing my lola and my lolo, they were so sweet. they were like 'hi dayat. kumusta ka na?'' then they'll kiss me. my uncle is going to mock me all the time. like the time I bought this really cute little food toys, I can't get the cupcake out of it's box so I asked my ucnle to unwrap it for me. He did then he'll be like ''Guto mo to? kunin mo muna. kunin mo muna'' then I'll be like ''aki na. sumbong kita sa papa ko!'' hahaha. If, right now, I'm the ''sumbong kita sa papa ko'' girl, he'd be like ''wooow. that's threatening'' lol. Anyway, I also remember the time I saw Nino Mulach, he wanted to make me and my brother (Dapi) an artist but my dad wouldnt let us, what an opportunity ha? I KNOW RIGHT! lol. I also remember the time my dad bought me and my brother this really cool, beautiful, attractive bracelet. It lights up when you wear it. It was soooo beautiful. My brother had a necklace and I had a bracelet. My dad would pick me up and then I'll seat on his neck. My brother would seat on my uncle's neck. I and my brother were so scared so we hold hands. It was new year. We celebrated with my lolo, lola, uncles, aunts, cousins. Then when the fireworks blow, I and my brother would shout like we were being stabbed or something, it startled people and they will be like ''ano ba yan, nakaka gulat naman tong mga bata na to'' hahahaha. so funny. My favorite pandesal was this really big one with cheese on top of it with sugar fillings. I'd buy one for myself and for my brother Dapi. We'll eat together and then we'll play games with our cousins. We'll play this game, I don't know who created that game. hahahaha. o my Gosh, tickles my heart. lol. tickles? whatever. anywayyy, the game was 'who could mess the place, she/he wins' oh-hoh, I am number one in messing up anything, room, house, apartment, hotel. lol. But to win, I cheated. I took some cushions and then stuff it on my cousins face. they'd be like 'ahhh! hindi na ako maka inga' HAHAHA! grabehhh teh! :p then, I also remember that my brother Dapi took someone else's slippers 'cause I have no slippers. awwww. We have videos of that time. But we lost it. :( I was so furious to know we lost the videos. huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu!
- I also remember that I don't like walking around. Philippines is a big country. Every continents, full of people and houses, buildings, vehicles. So it was so tiring to walk, I'd ask my uncle to carry me. He's okay with it but I was so chubby so I was very heavy. lol. If he dont wanna carry me, I'll cry. lol
- I love books since I was little. I'll bring my aunt to the ground floor 'cause there were loads of bookstores. Sometimes, she'll be like ''ano ka ba yat! puros ka na lang libro'' then I'll cry and she'd be like ''oo sige! hindi na! sorry na!'' lol. spoiled much? yeaashhh! :p
- I love my brothers and sisters. When we went to the Philippines, there were only the three of us. My brother and my little sister Rafidah. Every night, I'd chat with my brother Dapi about what we did in school, what happened in school, what the teachers were like, who's the bully and who are our new friends or haters. We talk about everything and sometimes, we laugh for no reason and then jump around and play boxing. lol. I also remember the time my dad bought this really long attached game controls. I love playing x-men games. I love being storm because she's strong and her power is lighting. lol. My brother loves being this blue boy who turns into a lizard or something or be wolverin. awhhhh! so cute.
- Everyday, my dad went home from work and brought really cute toys for me and my brother. My brother will get a box of car toys and then I'll get a set of cooking utensils (toys) lol. Then we'll play together like we'll make human out papers and then be like ''the dad went home and then the kids runa nd hug, bla bla bla'' we were so happy
Fun memories now:-
Oh-hoh. so many! like the time we went to the beach, the time I joke around with my siblings talking about funny stuffs. And then we dance in our room or mock each other and laugh it at the end. The time we joke around with out parents and watch tv, movies and so many stuffs. It's just beautiful
I wanna cry. lol. I wish there are more beautiful, fun, memorable, unforgetable, sweet, shimmering memories to come. My baby sister's birthday is in 3 days. I am going to make that day her special day ever.
I hope you people enjoy your times with your family. Always make them happy and always be happy with them. They are thos epeople who will be there for you through anything wether you are married or not. right? So, be happy and make really beautiful memories. okay?
xoxo Jessica.
Plans
Okay. So, I can't study tonight. I have to start tomorrow. So my plans for tomorrow:-
First, I'll wake up at 11:00AM or 10:00 AM. late? Noooo. I have to wake up at 11:00AM. I always sleep at around maybe 1:00 AM later. Maybe! Or maybe I'll sleep at 11:00 PM or 12:00PM and then wake up at 7:00 AM or 8:00 AM. I have to sleep for 7-8 hours. why? because I have to take car eof my face (I dont like or need pimples and blackheads), I have to sleep early to gain height (I wish to gain 6 feet more, they say that we'll stop growing when we're 18. I'm 16. So I have this year and next year, I am going to buy the grow taller for idiots soon) and also it's healthy to sleep for 7-8 or more hours. I prefere 7-8 hours tho.
After that, I'll fix my bed and clean my room and then take a shower.Eat my breakfast. Then blow my hair with a blower and then fix my hair, I think I'm gonna curl it-oh wait no-gonna straight it and then clip it.Lotion meyh! cologne meyh! Wear my favorite everyday top and shorts. Then, I'll clean my nails, no nail color. Then, I'll make a time table about what subjects am I going to start revising and at what time.So, since I have bm, chem,bio,phy,maths,eng,mib,irk,commerce,word doc 10 subjects, I only have 29 days to study. I am going to learn chem in 3 days, so I have 26 days, then bio in 3 days, so I have 23 days, phy is 3 days, so I have 20 days, Islamic Religion Knowledge in 5 days, so I have 15 days, business study and word documents in 4 days, 11 days left, maths in 4 days, 7 days left, back to chem, bio, phy, maths, irk, business n word doc then the others, I just have to learn them the day before I am sitting for it. I know, this is a lot of pressure.
But, for my future and for my reputation, I have to study. I wish Allah will give me the strength and health. Amin~ Please pray for me. Thank You.
First, I'll wake up at 11:00AM or 10:00 AM. late? Noooo. I have to wake up at 11:00AM. I always sleep at around maybe 1:00 AM later. Maybe! Or maybe I'll sleep at 11:00 PM or 12:00PM and then wake up at 7:00 AM or 8:00 AM. I have to sleep for 7-8 hours. why? because I have to take car eof my face (I dont like or need pimples and blackheads), I have to sleep early to gain height (I wish to gain 6 feet more, they say that we'll stop growing when we're 18. I'm 16. So I have this year and next year, I am going to buy the grow taller for idiots soon) and also it's healthy to sleep for 7-8 or more hours. I prefere 7-8 hours tho.
After that, I'll fix my bed and clean my room and then take a shower.Eat my breakfast. Then blow my hair with a blower and then fix my hair, I think I'm gonna curl it-oh wait no-gonna straight it and then clip it.Lotion meyh! cologne meyh! Wear my favorite everyday top and shorts. Then, I'll clean my nails, no nail color. Then, I'll make a time table about what subjects am I going to start revising and at what time.So, since I have bm, chem,bio,phy,maths,eng,mib,irk,commerce,word doc 10 subjects, I only have 29 days to study. I am going to learn chem in 3 days, so I have 26 days, then bio in 3 days, so I have 23 days, phy is 3 days, so I have 20 days, Islamic Religion Knowledge in 5 days, so I have 15 days, business study and word documents in 4 days, 11 days left, maths in 4 days, 7 days left, back to chem, bio, phy, maths, irk, business n word doc then the others, I just have to learn them the day before I am sitting for it. I know, this is a lot of pressure.
But, for my future and for my reputation, I have to study. I wish Allah will give me the strength and health. Amin~ Please pray for me. Thank You.
Busy
Busy! Busy! Busy! I may not be able to blog starting tomorrow because I have to study early for my exam this 24th October and also for my listening, writing and speaking exam for english maybe like 19th October. So, I have to prepare early and study early and catch up. I hope I can do this. I am scared!! Pray for me and I hope that I wouldn't give up. I hope I hope I hope.
Well, after the exam, I will blog again. Or maybe during the exam, I will open my blog and blog about the exam. So, keep up. :)
I will be gone like in 29 days. OH MY GOSH! EXAM IS IN 29 DAYS! less than one month! I have to study today. lol. like tonight. So, byeee! I am going to start with science. Chemistry first and then biology and then physics. I HOPE I CAN DO THIS!
I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO SCARED!
Well, after the exam, I will blog again. Or maybe during the exam, I will open my blog and blog about the exam. So, keep up. :)
I will be gone like in 29 days. OH MY GOSH! EXAM IS IN 29 DAYS! less than one month! I have to study today. lol. like tonight. So, byeee! I am going to start with science. Chemistry first and then biology and then physics. I HOPE I CAN DO THIS!
I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO SCARED!
Why my relationships never last long
Well, I am a teenager who doesnt know what love really is. Because love should be that, you wouldnt look at someone else and fall in love or like him/her. You'll stay to one unless you have the right reason why you have to let go. In my case, I had my first relationship in the year 2008 so I had like one relationship in 2008, 3 in 2009 and 1 in 2010. So, there were 5 guys in my life before now. It was hard to have a loyal guy in your life and it's hard to not be able divide times for you to enjoy your life and also spend time with the one you love.
So, I am going to blog about my first relationship to the last and why we didn't last long.
(2008)My frist relationship is with a guy named Nismo. He proposed to me when I was teaching him tagalog in a chat. He asked me what 'I love you' means in tagalog then I answered him, I said ''I love you'' in tagalog is ''Mahal Kita'' then he said ''Mahal kita'' to me and I was like ''Okay, that's correct'' and he asked if I feel the same way. I was startled by that and sort of happy. It was the first time I ever had a guy said to me that he love me so I was excited and eager to have a boyfriend like myf riends who had their first love when they were 5. HAHA! I knooooow right. 5? That's like, whatever. Anyway, I said yes and then we're together then after one week I wanted to end it because I know that he wants to see me anytime he want, like I said I am not outgoing and not the type who likes going out with a guy or with guys, so, I had to end it and he said that he don't want to. I forced him and then after one week, we were back together again then after 2 weeks we officialy broke up because he started talking dirty. -.-''
(2009)The second was with a guy named Bobo (his real name is Rauf). He's a sweet one but also an emo and not understanding. So, I had to break up for that reason. Sad to say, we were together for 5 months. Then we broke up because, first, he is still inlove with his first girlfriend and he cheated on me when I was in the Philippines. I was so stupid to forgive him when he cheated on me. I loved him so I guess that's why he decided to repeatedly lie to me. I still forgive him then one night, he blocked me. :'( It hurts. After him, about 7 months later, a guy named Elmer came into my life and gave a sweet smile on my face everyday. awwww! We lasted for about 3 months then we broke up because he have a case. I KNOW RIGHT! All the presents he gave me when we were together and it was everyday. He gave me stolen presents. I was his first love then when I broke up with him, he went to the club every night (in the Philippines). So, yeah. The third guy is Andie. We lasted for like 2 weeks 'cause he said he couldn't stand a long-distance relationship. Dude, I said to him, ''Dude, when I was in the Philippines, we barely see each other too because you live in a condo or something for college'' so his reason was pfft!
(2010) last guy. Named Zierul. My bff's uncle (he was 16/17) I was 15. We last for about 2 months then we broke up because, I don't know why. I forgot why. Then after that, he proposed back so we lasted for about 3 months. We broke up because I barely talk to him, I barely text him or misss called him. I admit I was wrong. So, he had no choice but to break up with me and we also had our first quarrel which I dont like. Never in my relationship with a guy we had quarrels. So, he made me love him more but we ave to break up. I love him, still tho until this year and it stopped in like June.
It stopped because I have to move on. He have. I have to move on too.
Soooo, after that. I realized why I barely text him or call him or missed call him. It's because I am not ready for a relationship, I am not ready to meet my boyfriend and walk together or hold hands together in public, I'm afraid that something else might happen. Then, I also enjoy my own privacy and I enjoy my time alone with my family that I don't have to worry about who I have to call when or when I have to text him. Plus, I also understand why they are mostly frustrated or stressed. Because I can't go out with them and like have dinner like other teenagers. That's it.
I am happy tho. I realized that I love my own time alone with my family only and that also my parents dont want me to have someone special yet. I have to focus on my studies. If I have a boyfriend, I have to like call him or text him, if I dont, he'll be like mad or sullen. I study like after school 4-5 hours then I sleep then wake up and eat and then help my parents witht he dishes sometimes my mom's sister in-law will wash it, so I just have to go upstairs, watch tv and then study for one hour and then sleep. So, I am sure I don't have any time for that special one.
I hope someday, when the time comes. I finally will be ready for a relationship and will have the time for that person. :)
So, I am going to blog about my first relationship to the last and why we didn't last long.
(2008)My frist relationship is with a guy named Nismo. He proposed to me when I was teaching him tagalog in a chat. He asked me what 'I love you' means in tagalog then I answered him, I said ''I love you'' in tagalog is ''Mahal Kita'' then he said ''Mahal kita'' to me and I was like ''Okay, that's correct'' and he asked if I feel the same way. I was startled by that and sort of happy. It was the first time I ever had a guy said to me that he love me so I was excited and eager to have a boyfriend like myf riends who had their first love when they were 5. HAHA! I knooooow right. 5? That's like, whatever. Anyway, I said yes and then we're together then after one week I wanted to end it because I know that he wants to see me anytime he want, like I said I am not outgoing and not the type who likes going out with a guy or with guys, so, I had to end it and he said that he don't want to. I forced him and then after one week, we were back together again then after 2 weeks we officialy broke up because he started talking dirty. -.-''
(2009)The second was with a guy named Bobo (his real name is Rauf). He's a sweet one but also an emo and not understanding. So, I had to break up for that reason. Sad to say, we were together for 5 months. Then we broke up because, first, he is still inlove with his first girlfriend and he cheated on me when I was in the Philippines. I was so stupid to forgive him when he cheated on me. I loved him so I guess that's why he decided to repeatedly lie to me. I still forgive him then one night, he blocked me. :'( It hurts. After him, about 7 months later, a guy named Elmer came into my life and gave a sweet smile on my face everyday. awwww! We lasted for about 3 months then we broke up because he have a case. I KNOW RIGHT! All the presents he gave me when we were together and it was everyday. He gave me stolen presents. I was his first love then when I broke up with him, he went to the club every night (in the Philippines). So, yeah. The third guy is Andie. We lasted for like 2 weeks 'cause he said he couldn't stand a long-distance relationship. Dude, I said to him, ''Dude, when I was in the Philippines, we barely see each other too because you live in a condo or something for college'' so his reason was pfft!
(2010) last guy. Named Zierul. My bff's uncle (he was 16/17) I was 15. We last for about 2 months then we broke up because, I don't know why. I forgot why. Then after that, he proposed back so we lasted for about 3 months. We broke up because I barely talk to him, I barely text him or misss called him. I admit I was wrong. So, he had no choice but to break up with me and we also had our first quarrel which I dont like. Never in my relationship with a guy we had quarrels. So, he made me love him more but we ave to break up. I love him, still tho until this year and it stopped in like June.
It stopped because I have to move on. He have. I have to move on too.
Soooo, after that. I realized why I barely text him or call him or missed call him. It's because I am not ready for a relationship, I am not ready to meet my boyfriend and walk together or hold hands together in public, I'm afraid that something else might happen. Then, I also enjoy my own privacy and I enjoy my time alone with my family that I don't have to worry about who I have to call when or when I have to text him. Plus, I also understand why they are mostly frustrated or stressed. Because I can't go out with them and like have dinner like other teenagers. That's it.
I am happy tho. I realized that I love my own time alone with my family only and that also my parents dont want me to have someone special yet. I have to focus on my studies. If I have a boyfriend, I have to like call him or text him, if I dont, he'll be like mad or sullen. I study like after school 4-5 hours then I sleep then wake up and eat and then help my parents witht he dishes sometimes my mom's sister in-law will wash it, so I just have to go upstairs, watch tv and then study for one hour and then sleep. So, I am sure I don't have any time for that special one.
I hope someday, when the time comes. I finally will be ready for a relationship and will have the time for that person. :)
DISLIKES!
Okay, I think I posted something about my dislikes or was it something about conffessions or whatever. Anywayyyyyyyy, I wanted to post about my dislikes in someone. Anyone I'll know or know now.
I am not going to type it one by one with numbers. I am going to sort of make it like in a sentence so it's up to you to read or be like ''UGHH!'' oh and if you are wondering, I'm not mad. :) I'm in a good mood right now just feeling hypher. Soooooooo, My dislikes. well... nothing really. JUST KIDDING! First of all, I don't judge by the book. I dont I dont and again I DO NOT! So, I just realized what my dislikes are on some people I already met and not the people I'll meet in the future. Just incase you decided to like backstab me or oh I don't know, make me feel stupid!!! You should read, it's not a waste of your time. I am not threatening, oh ohhoh! If I am threatening, it's more than just posting you know. ^^ Just for FUTURE REFERENCES. LOL.
Before I tell you about my dislikes in someone, I want to first tell you that almost all of my friendships and relationships FAIL. And it's because of DISLIKES. Yeahhh.. I know. I am not a choosy person. I love having friends, many or few. I just am not that stupid and weak to not be able to let go and say buh-bye. Some friends are bitches and jerks right? I mean who wouldnt agree with me? You? Nohhh way! Everyone, even our ancestors have dislikes. I don't judge people by the book. I get to know them first then you know, their true self will just reveal automatically at the right time. So, by then I'll be like, if th eperson is good then I'll be like ''Oh my! She/he is so nice, she/he is definetly a friend'' so I'll hang out with him/her when I have the time or when I just want to. If she/he is like BAD, like lying, telling her/his friends secrets that he should be hiding to me (I mean, what if I tell him/her my screts, she'd/he'd definetly will do the same thing to me like what he/she did to her friends) right? So I don't have to talk. I am not going to talk to him/her or not going to be like close. Not talking is like ending a friendhsip, that's harsh.
So, my dislikes about someone is first after we meet, in about when the time is rights like I said the true self of that person will just reveal automatically right? Well, to make you understand more (If you dont understand) I'd like to make an example. I have a friend, let alone a cous. So she, I am not going to mention her name, so, she is older than me, she have a fair skin and a pretty face and all that. When we sort of first met, when we wer elittle that was different. I don't even remember what we did when we were little except the time I went to their house and there was this big black dog who barked 'cause it saw me crying. Ahhhahahaha! Lol. What a dog-good times, good times. ANYWAYHHH! When we met again, I mean when we saw each other again, I was in the process of maturity (get what I mean? ofcourse!) she is sort of 17 and I am 13 or 14. We saw each other again and we were like strangers, well not strangers..ahmm.. acquaintance, ok acquaintance. we were more of that. she smiled to me, I smiled back but we were never like ''Hey, whats up, how's life?'' bla bla bla. We only smiled and I am not the type of a person who hang out with someone prettier than me because I before called myself ugly becaus eof my hair. So, yeah.
She was too. She doesn't talk much to me. I am not going to tell you where she is from or what side of the family, so just read and deal with it. Not that I wanna ruin her reputation (if u guys finds out who she is), I just have to make an example. JUST AN EXAMPLE. She's the best example I could think of. lol. Soooo, when I had my hair straight and I looked effin' HOT like a bomb! seriously, the boys were like ''wowhh'' and the girls were rolling their eyes. hahahaha. too much? yes? okay, sorry-back to my story. Okay so we then again saw each other and we were like again acquaintance soooo I smiled to her and she did the same, like I looked at her and like I don't know, we're not talking or even whatever. My sister or brother or was it my uncle, hmmh... whatever.. was taking shots. We were eating with the whole family at a famous well-known restaurant. So, then I viewed it and saw that she was looking at me like she wanted to kill me or eat me or even make a feast out of me. lol. I wonder how I'll taste. Oh wait, sweettt! ofcourse! :p So, I was like ''wtf?!" not only in the photos I viewed. Also in real life, we were sitting not far from each other, she was like infront of me during that time in the restaurant. She was wearing-nevermind what she was wearing. I was wearing a dress, so she looked at me like she can't believe I am hot and pretty. Not that I m showing off or anything an not to say that she is jealous of me. (I think she is tho) I dont like talking about other people but I have to and oh if you hate it, I DONT GIVE A F***, this is my web I type what I want kayh? teehee. Annnnnnnnywayyyhhh! She was like looking at me and then she'll look at her sister and laugh and then she'll look at me again and turn to her friend and then laugh. DUDE! what is the matter with you??!! I was like nothing, acting like there's nothing wrong (oh there was nothing actually, just a bitch tryna fit in) I guess. So, (I love my cousins, but when I dislike someone, it deosnt matter wether that person is part of the family or not) so anyway, I really hated her. If she's jealous of me why not say so? I am not going to change myself or anything, I am going to ignore her. Oh-hoh yes I will.
Then when I got my awesome brand new digital canon camera for my love of photography, I was taking shots of my sister, my sister was sitting next to her so I had no choice but to take shots of her too. Anyway, she was looking at the camera, not smiling. She looked as if she was upset then I commented after I took a shot I said ''Ha! You look like a ghost here'' so she just 'fake-smiled' me. I was so happy to know she's jealous. lol. what? You'd feel good too. I am not gonna say that she is not jealous because she's making it obvious like the time I got my brand new laptop, she called her dad who was working and she asked if he could buy her a brand new laptop. the father was like, you always flunked your tests and you have the face and guts to ask me for a brand new laptop? You had one but you broke it because I owuldnt let you go to that party. I don't blame her dad or her. Well, there was no one to blame. He spoiled her and she's spoiled. BUT... since I am a daddy's girl, if my dad talk to me like that, I'll be sad, embarrassed, furious and cry. She did the same thing, I was so sorry for her so I had to comfort her and it's not because I feel sorry for her and also not because I am putting her position on mine, she's my cousin. I have to comfort her. In the end, families are all I have left, right?
So, I guess you now know the first reason. The second reason is on the next paragraph. To make you understand more, I am going to make a story (real life) about it. Kayh? :) ^^ FORGIVE ME IF I UNINTENTIONALLY HURT SOMEONES FEELINGS! xoxo
Second, I have a friend. She is a smart student and like me we like studying and school. I have problems with my attendance and she doesnt. BUT... we are no different. Nerds, cool nerds, that is. :) So, we first met last year when we were in a group. (Like in a group full of friends?) I guess you can put it that way. So we met there. Then last year we were in the same class, this year we are too. Anywayyy! She's smart like me, again. Then, after months. We sat for our test. And after that, the result came out. I was in the number one position. She was in the three. Sooo, she was like competing with me. I don't like that. To me studying and numbers shouldnt be a competition. So, I was a bit different to her after that. I dont wanna compete with her, not that I am scared (like what some of you think) Sorry, a friend thought it that way too. I am not! not not not! Okay? I'm not scared because I love studying and school. It shouldn't be a competition. right?
That's the second reason, now it's third. Well, third, no example. Just wanna say that if you are famous and youre my friend, ignoring me is like saying bye bye too. I am friends with a lot of famous people. Not braggin or anything. They have the guts to upload their videos in youtube like singing and dancing adn they have loads of cool friends. I am not more of an outgoing person and my parents are awesomely strict (which I love) because some parents let their childrens out on their won with their friends and like party here and there, then get pragnant. SOME DOES! some who doesnt think before they do it. And not being an outgoing shouldn't be the reason why I don't have many friends. I love having some friends who often cares about me. That's it. *SIGH*
The fourth, fakers. Plastics. and fifth, assholes, bitches, jerks.
Well, that's it.
I am not going to type it one by one with numbers. I am going to sort of make it like in a sentence so it's up to you to read or be like ''UGHH!'' oh and if you are wondering, I'm not mad. :) I'm in a good mood right now just feeling hypher. Soooooooo, My dislikes. well... nothing really. JUST KIDDING! First of all, I don't judge by the book. I dont I dont and again I DO NOT! So, I just realized what my dislikes are on some people I already met and not the people I'll meet in the future. Just incase you decided to like backstab me or oh I don't know, make me feel stupid!!! You should read, it's not a waste of your time. I am not threatening, oh ohhoh! If I am threatening, it's more than just posting you know. ^^ Just for FUTURE REFERENCES. LOL.
Before I tell you about my dislikes in someone, I want to first tell you that almost all of my friendships and relationships FAIL. And it's because of DISLIKES. Yeahhh.. I know. I am not a choosy person. I love having friends, many or few. I just am not that stupid and weak to not be able to let go and say buh-bye. Some friends are bitches and jerks right? I mean who wouldnt agree with me? You? Nohhh way! Everyone, even our ancestors have dislikes. I don't judge people by the book. I get to know them first then you know, their true self will just reveal automatically at the right time. So, by then I'll be like, if th eperson is good then I'll be like ''Oh my! She/he is so nice, she/he is definetly a friend'' so I'll hang out with him/her when I have the time or when I just want to. If she/he is like BAD, like lying, telling her/his friends secrets that he should be hiding to me (I mean, what if I tell him/her my screts, she'd/he'd definetly will do the same thing to me like what he/she did to her friends) right? So I don't have to talk. I am not going to talk to him/her or not going to be like close. Not talking is like ending a friendhsip, that's harsh.
So, my dislikes about someone is first after we meet, in about when the time is rights like I said the true self of that person will just reveal automatically right? Well, to make you understand more (If you dont understand) I'd like to make an example. I have a friend, let alone a cous. So she, I am not going to mention her name, so, she is older than me, she have a fair skin and a pretty face and all that. When we sort of first met, when we wer elittle that was different. I don't even remember what we did when we were little except the time I went to their house and there was this big black dog who barked 'cause it saw me crying. Ahhhahahaha! Lol. What a dog-good times, good times. ANYWAYHHH! When we met again, I mean when we saw each other again, I was in the process of maturity (get what I mean? ofcourse!) she is sort of 17 and I am 13 or 14. We saw each other again and we were like strangers, well not strangers..ahmm.. acquaintance, ok acquaintance. we were more of that. she smiled to me, I smiled back but we were never like ''Hey, whats up, how's life?'' bla bla bla. We only smiled and I am not the type of a person who hang out with someone prettier than me because I before called myself ugly becaus eof my hair. So, yeah.
She was too. She doesn't talk much to me. I am not going to tell you where she is from or what side of the family, so just read and deal with it. Not that I wanna ruin her reputation (if u guys finds out who she is), I just have to make an example. JUST AN EXAMPLE. She's the best example I could think of. lol. Soooo, when I had my hair straight and I looked effin' HOT like a bomb! seriously, the boys were like ''wowhh'' and the girls were rolling their eyes. hahahaha. too much? yes? okay, sorry-back to my story. Okay so we then again saw each other and we were like again acquaintance soooo I smiled to her and she did the same, like I looked at her and like I don't know, we're not talking or even whatever. My sister or brother or was it my uncle, hmmh... whatever.. was taking shots. We were eating with the whole family at a famous well-known restaurant. So, then I viewed it and saw that she was looking at me like she wanted to kill me or eat me or even make a feast out of me. lol. I wonder how I'll taste. Oh wait, sweettt! ofcourse! :p So, I was like ''wtf?!" not only in the photos I viewed. Also in real life, we were sitting not far from each other, she was like infront of me during that time in the restaurant. She was wearing-nevermind what she was wearing. I was wearing a dress, so she looked at me like she can't believe I am hot and pretty. Not that I m showing off or anything an not to say that she is jealous of me. (I think she is tho) I dont like talking about other people but I have to and oh if you hate it, I DONT GIVE A F***, this is my web I type what I want kayh? teehee. Annnnnnnnywayyyhhh! She was like looking at me and then she'll look at her sister and laugh and then she'll look at me again and turn to her friend and then laugh. DUDE! what is the matter with you??!! I was like nothing, acting like there's nothing wrong (oh there was nothing actually, just a bitch tryna fit in) I guess. So, (I love my cousins, but when I dislike someone, it deosnt matter wether that person is part of the family or not) so anyway, I really hated her. If she's jealous of me why not say so? I am not going to change myself or anything, I am going to ignore her. Oh-hoh yes I will.
Then when I got my awesome brand new digital canon camera for my love of photography, I was taking shots of my sister, my sister was sitting next to her so I had no choice but to take shots of her too. Anyway, she was looking at the camera, not smiling. She looked as if she was upset then I commented after I took a shot I said ''Ha! You look like a ghost here'' so she just 'fake-smiled' me. I was so happy to know she's jealous. lol. what? You'd feel good too. I am not gonna say that she is not jealous because she's making it obvious like the time I got my brand new laptop, she called her dad who was working and she asked if he could buy her a brand new laptop. the father was like, you always flunked your tests and you have the face and guts to ask me for a brand new laptop? You had one but you broke it because I owuldnt let you go to that party. I don't blame her dad or her. Well, there was no one to blame. He spoiled her and she's spoiled. BUT... since I am a daddy's girl, if my dad talk to me like that, I'll be sad, embarrassed, furious and cry. She did the same thing, I was so sorry for her so I had to comfort her and it's not because I feel sorry for her and also not because I am putting her position on mine, she's my cousin. I have to comfort her. In the end, families are all I have left, right?
So, I guess you now know the first reason. The second reason is on the next paragraph. To make you understand more, I am going to make a story (real life) about it. Kayh? :) ^^ FORGIVE ME IF I UNINTENTIONALLY HURT SOMEONES FEELINGS! xoxo
Second, I have a friend. She is a smart student and like me we like studying and school. I have problems with my attendance and she doesnt. BUT... we are no different. Nerds, cool nerds, that is. :) So, we first met last year when we were in a group. (Like in a group full of friends?) I guess you can put it that way. So we met there. Then last year we were in the same class, this year we are too. Anywayyy! She's smart like me, again. Then, after months. We sat for our test. And after that, the result came out. I was in the number one position. She was in the three. Sooo, she was like competing with me. I don't like that. To me studying and numbers shouldnt be a competition. So, I was a bit different to her after that. I dont wanna compete with her, not that I am scared (like what some of you think) Sorry, a friend thought it that way too. I am not! not not not! Okay? I'm not scared because I love studying and school. It shouldn't be a competition. right?
That's the second reason, now it's third. Well, third, no example. Just wanna say that if you are famous and youre my friend, ignoring me is like saying bye bye too. I am friends with a lot of famous people. Not braggin or anything. They have the guts to upload their videos in youtube like singing and dancing adn they have loads of cool friends. I am not more of an outgoing person and my parents are awesomely strict (which I love) because some parents let their childrens out on their won with their friends and like party here and there, then get pragnant. SOME DOES! some who doesnt think before they do it. And not being an outgoing shouldn't be the reason why I don't have many friends. I love having some friends who often cares about me. That's it. *SIGH*
The fourth, fakers. Plastics. and fifth, assholes, bitches, jerks.
Well, that's it.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Expect the Unexpected
In life, we never know what will happen but we know things that happened. Have you ever worked hard for something you know you can do but you feel kinda scared, excited, worried? I have. In school, last year, I can't say it was my best year. Since I start high-school, I changed from a good girl to a bad girl because of the pressure and friends. I wasn't friends with people who loves studying and living life like teenagers (example like social networking, shopping, etc). I was friends with those who focus their mind entirely to the teenage life instead of 50-studying for their futures and 50- living the teenage life which we all know wouldn't last forever. I don't blame it all to them. I was a nobody when I get there. I started hoax and lies. I wasn't an innocent kid. I was an idiot. I don't feel good about that. I don't like who I was before until 2010, I realized. Wouldn't it be better if I start studying for my future. Who knows, maybe in 2030 or 2015, prices increase from $11.00 to $22.00.
Money is not easy to find. They don't just grow on a tree. You have to earn it. So, I thought that what if I was an honored student? I could change a lot. Not just myself, but also what others think about me. I am a high-school student from 2007 until now (2011). I repeated when I was in from 3 'cause we were stranded in the Philippines in 2009, so I sort of went from form 1 to 3 and back to form 2(2009-year 8) to year 10 (2011) so I'm a high school student for 5 years. It's frustrating. But, I don't mind about how many years will I be in high-school. Last year, now, this year, today, this time, what's important to me is that I will be who I ever wanted to be. The girl who likes studying a lot.
I started last year. I was late entering the school for three days. Left by the plane in the Philippines last year. Great? NO! -.-'' But, thanks to the governement, school and teachers for still accepting me. So last year, I started thinking. What if I change? I wanna be a doctor. But if I don't study, then being a specialist doctor is just a dream. I don't like disappointments. So, I challenged myself, if I pass this year and be at the top 3, I'm the best than I thought, but if I'm not on the top 3, then work harder. I start studying and I was always number one in class (which makes me happy) but numbers are nothing to me. I just want to prove to myself that not only wealthy, good-looking, smart from the start people can be number one, can pass and succeed. I also want to show the world and other people that stupid people can change and be smart, be smarter than the smarter, be successful and be somebody.
I also studied because I am tired of people calling me stupid. Some of the teachers (not that I am trying to ruin their reputations) <NOT GOING TO MENTION THE SCHOOL'S NAME OR THE TEACHER(S) NAME> she asked me, why was I in school in the evening? I answered her ''I was at the library studying and my father can't pick me up because he's in a meeting''. Se humiliated me infront of my friend (I was with that day). She said ''Meeting? Your father doesn't have jobs like us. He's low'' I wish I could defend my father. But since she is the discipline teacher, I can't. If I could I would. I could've said to her that ''my father may not have a job like yours but at least we can tell who's well educated. You're a teacher. You know better'' and I could've complained. But I didn't. I don't want any problems. I hope she'll realize and change.
Anyways, Last year. I can't say it was my best year of high-school because there were issues and stuffs. It may not be the best but it was the most memorable year of high-school in my life. Because I receieved these two beautiful (inexpensive but are golds to me) babies:-
I didn't expect I'd get this year9 overall best student award.
I almost cried but ofcourse, to keep it formal. I didn't. I still can't believe it. Until now, looking at the photos and looking at in real life I had to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. I hope they also wrote my name on them but they didn't. Some people don't believe it. They weren't there when it happened. I mean when I was awarded. I told myself that year that I was going to be on that stage for the award with the witnesses of the teachers, students and guests. But, what's sad was, I didn't went to the stage to take my overall best student trophy, I didn't know I was going to be awarded with is so I sat back down. I just realized I did when my name was called. The teachers asked for volunteers. In my surprise, I accicently threw someone elses throphy to my PE teacher. :s
This year, I will or will not receive these again. But in my heart, what's important is for me to succeed. Maybe, the teachers will repeat me again due to MY IMPERFECT ATTENDANCE :( I will keep studying. I'll fight. I hope my siblings will do the same way, I hope they'll also do what I did. As their eldest sister I should be the role model. I'm not gonna try and be one, I'm gonna be their role model. I'm gonna show them what I can do and help them so they can do it too.
I hope I can be better in english tho. I'm not that good. I'll work harder. :)
Money is not easy to find. They don't just grow on a tree. You have to earn it. So, I thought that what if I was an honored student? I could change a lot. Not just myself, but also what others think about me. I am a high-school student from 2007 until now (2011). I repeated when I was in from 3 'cause we were stranded in the Philippines in 2009, so I sort of went from form 1 to 3 and back to form 2(2009-year 8) to year 10 (2011) so I'm a high school student for 5 years. It's frustrating. But, I don't mind about how many years will I be in high-school. Last year, now, this year, today, this time, what's important to me is that I will be who I ever wanted to be. The girl who likes studying a lot.
I started last year. I was late entering the school for three days. Left by the plane in the Philippines last year. Great? NO! -.-'' But, thanks to the governement, school and teachers for still accepting me. So last year, I started thinking. What if I change? I wanna be a doctor. But if I don't study, then being a specialist doctor is just a dream. I don't like disappointments. So, I challenged myself, if I pass this year and be at the top 3, I'm the best than I thought, but if I'm not on the top 3, then work harder. I start studying and I was always number one in class (which makes me happy) but numbers are nothing to me. I just want to prove to myself that not only wealthy, good-looking, smart from the start people can be number one, can pass and succeed. I also want to show the world and other people that stupid people can change and be smart, be smarter than the smarter, be successful and be somebody.
I also studied because I am tired of people calling me stupid. Some of the teachers (not that I am trying to ruin their reputations) <NOT GOING TO MENTION THE SCHOOL'S NAME OR THE TEACHER(S) NAME> she asked me, why was I in school in the evening? I answered her ''I was at the library studying and my father can't pick me up because he's in a meeting''. Se humiliated me infront of my friend (I was with that day). She said ''Meeting? Your father doesn't have jobs like us. He's low'' I wish I could defend my father. But since she is the discipline teacher, I can't. If I could I would. I could've said to her that ''my father may not have a job like yours but at least we can tell who's well educated. You're a teacher. You know better'' and I could've complained. But I didn't. I don't want any problems. I hope she'll realize and change.
Anyways, Last year. I can't say it was my best year of high-school because there were issues and stuffs. It may not be the best but it was the most memorable year of high-school in my life. Because I receieved these two beautiful (inexpensive but are golds to me) babies:-
Best student year 9 2010. I expected this. I knew I was getting this. BUT...
I almost cried but ofcourse, to keep it formal. I didn't. I still can't believe it. Until now, looking at the photos and looking at in real life I had to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. I hope they also wrote my name on them but they didn't. Some people don't believe it. They weren't there when it happened. I mean when I was awarded. I told myself that year that I was going to be on that stage for the award with the witnesses of the teachers, students and guests. But, what's sad was, I didn't went to the stage to take my overall best student trophy, I didn't know I was going to be awarded with is so I sat back down. I just realized I did when my name was called. The teachers asked for volunteers. In my surprise, I accicently threw someone elses throphy to my PE teacher. :s
This year, I will or will not receive these again. But in my heart, what's important is for me to succeed. Maybe, the teachers will repeat me again due to MY IMPERFECT ATTENDANCE :( I will keep studying. I'll fight. I hope my siblings will do the same way, I hope they'll also do what I did. As their eldest sister I should be the role model. I'm not gonna try and be one, I'm gonna be their role model. I'm gonna show them what I can do and help them so they can do it too.
I hope I can be better in english tho. I'm not that good. I'll work harder. :)
Sunday, September 18, 2011
My 16 obsessions
Do you guys have any obsessions? Ofcourse you do. Like clothes, games, dvds, movies, shoes, cameras, accessories and so many more. My obsessions areeeee:-
(1) Forever21 clothing line, I love most, not all. But forever21 is one of my favorite stores.
(2) Forever21 accessories (heads, necks, wrists, fingers, etcetera) all of them are gorgeous!
(3) Blogging. ^^
(4) My iPhone4.
(5) Studying like a NERD!
(6) Accessories
(7) Music
(8) Accessories and Jewelries
(9) All kinds of footwear
(10) shopping
(11) Travelling
(12) Photography
(13) Singing
(14) Sequin dresses
(15) Large cars
(16) Sunglasses
<3 I loveeeee! :)
Well it's getting late. I gotta sleep. Goodnight world. All the way from BRUNEI DARUSSALAM
(1) Forever21 clothing line, I love most, not all. But forever21 is one of my favorite stores.
(2) Forever21 accessories (heads, necks, wrists, fingers, etcetera) all of them are gorgeous!
(3) Blogging. ^^
(4) My iPhone4.
(5) Studying like a NERD!
(6) Accessories
(7) Music
(8) Accessories and Jewelries
(9) All kinds of footwear
(10) shopping
(11) Travelling
(12) Photography
(13) Singing
(14) Sequin dresses
(15) Large cars
(16) Sunglasses
<3 I loveeeee! :)
Well it's getting late. I gotta sleep. Goodnight world. All the way from BRUNEI DARUSSALAM
Confessions
Well, I am now with my family at my brother grandparents's house. Waiting for my brother to get out of the house and finally be seen by everyone. The groom, the king today. :) So, I have some confessions to make:-
(1) My father's first wife, (sooo not my step mother! Seriously! She's more like my Tita) So, she greeted my mom as we arrived. She never does that. I smell something fishy! But, if she (hopefully) decided to change, that's up to her but my mom can't forgive what she did years ago. I understand my mom. It must be so hard for her. My mom has been through a lot. She was a working student who only sleep like 2 to 3 hours a day, who pay for my mom's siblings expenses that's because they were all so young and the eldest was married so since my mom is the mature one, my mom had to be like the eldest. Then, I havent asked my parents how they met each other, I havent got the time and tey're always busy so we just have to like deal with all that.
(2) I am burning here! Acting like I'm not 'cause that is so immature and weird. Okay so, I really feel like shouting an be like "HOOOOOOOOOTTTTT!!!" f*** f*** f*** ahhhhh! Okay, I guess expressing that in my blog is much better than actually doin it here. I'll look like a blow fish. Lol
(3) I am sitting next to my cousin and I don't have anything to talk about. :( My sister feels hot! Hahahaha! Wow that sounds weird! She said she cant stand it anymore!!! Well bhe, so CANT I! :(
(4) I think I'm getting tired of pink. Colors that attract me now are peach and turqoise blue.
(5) This year, I feel really really tired. Super duper duper duper tired. I wonder when can I ever rest. :(
So, that's about it. ^^
(1) My father's first wife, (sooo not my step mother! Seriously! She's more like my Tita
(2) I am burning here! Acting like I'm not 'cause that is so immature and weird. Okay so, I really feel like shouting an be like "HOOOOOOOOOTTTTT!!!" f*** f*** f*** ahhhhh! Okay, I guess expressing that in my blog is much better than actually doin it here. I'll look like a blow fish. Lol
(3) I am sitting next to my cousin and I don't have anything to talk about. :( My sister feels hot! Hahahaha! Wow that sounds weird! She said she cant stand it anymore!!! Well bhe, so CANT I! :(
(4) I think I'm getting tired of pink. Colors that attract me now are peach and turqoise blue.
(5) This year, I feel really really tired. Super duper duper duper tired. I wonder when can I ever rest. :(
So, that's about it. ^^
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Dream bedroom
Do you remember when we were little kids we used to believe in monsters? It was pretty funny. It's a laugh. If only I have a video of myself being so scared because I believed in monsters. I'd post it here. But sadly, I don't. :( Anyway, soon, we are going to live in our new house. My dad bought a nw house. The government also gave my dad a new house. So we have two new houses. So, we are going to live in our new house (one that my dad bought). My dad said he wants me to have my own room. I am pretty excited to have my own room. But sometimes, I am still scared in the dark. I am now. :s I am weird. Sorry. I don't believe in monsters. I only believe in the existence of God.
Anyway, I am thinking about it. Should I have my own room? Or still share with my sisters? I'm 16. I think I should have my own room. Hmmphh! It's so hard to decide. But tonight (dawn-ight) lol. I am going to think about it. So, blogging can help me. Ahmmm! Well! It is official. I am going to have my own room. No teddy bears or dolls in sight. I need a bright night light. SERIOUSLY! Soooo, anyway. I am going to have my own room soon. Me, alone, in my own new room. Hope everything will be okay. Anyway, ahmm.. What color should I paint it? What design? Should I use a wallpaper? Or paint it and then wall art it?
Well, I have to see the room and then decide what color I want to paint it or what wallpaper I want to use and all that stuff. So ahmm, I am just going to think what kind of bed and room accessories I want. Well, I want my bed to be the one with drawers, like my parents's bed. Size: Queen. Single is frustrating. I mean if the bed size is single. HAHAHA! wow! that was weird. But in real life, being single is frustrating. lol. Anyway, I want my bed to be a queen bed with drawers. My side tables will be in the color of light pink, and it'll be on both sides of my bed. One on the right, one on the left. And then on top of my bed is a portrait of me. My side table beds on the right will be my digital alarm clock, a photo of me and my family, a photo of me and my sisters and a photo of me and my brothers and also a reading lamp. And then on the left, a reading light, my iPhone holder, a book I'll read before I sleep, a photo of my my grandparents (mom's side and dad's side). My night light will light all the room. So it should be on the middle of the room on the ceiling.
My study table should be large and white. I should have 4 tall bookshelves with 4 sections for each subject. I study like an Einstein so every subjects should have its own shelf. My study table should have four drawers, 2 on the left, 2 on the right. And then the best of all the best. My walk in closet. Pink, should have four sections, one for dresses and gowns, one for tops, one for outerwear like cardigans and sportswear, etcetera and one for jeans and bottoms. In the middle, there will be a big table full of accessories with it's mannequin's heads, hands and necks. Also, a full body female fashion mannequin. Just incase in need of fashion emergency for male, I need a full body male fashion mannequin. There are another 2 sections for my eyewears like my sunglasses and my contact lenses. The other one is for my make up accessories and nail accessories. Also another 2 sections for my footwear and my bags.
THE MOST SPECIAL OF ALL IS THE PLACE WHERE I WILL PRAY. A beautifully designed bookshelf for Al-Quran and Yassin. An always clean, pests free section of my room for me to Sembahyang. <3 This section of my room shall always have light on. <3 :') I am proud to be a Muslim.
Oh, and in addiciton. There will be 3 large comfy couches facing my television (screwed to the wall). 3 colored (pink, green and yellow) bean bags also facing the tv. And the table will only be small but square and short. For control tvs, dvds and astro. And there will also be 2 tall dvd's shelf. Then, there is a section of my room where there will be a 6 seat table, just incase I'm having friends over or my siblings want to eat in my room so we could chat around. :) Also, a small refrigerator on the 'meals' section of my room.
The bathroom. Let it all be pink. :) No tables or seats. It's gonna be weird. O_o o_O
Make up table. All of my perfumes, accessory boxes, hair brushes, combs, hair sprays, hair accessories and all that will be there. Oh and just incase I need to look closer at my face, I'll need a small mirror. :)
Well, those make it sounds like my room is super big. But no. It's not sooo big. Just adequate for me alone. :)
Anyway, I am thinking about it. Should I have my own room? Or still share with my sisters? I'm 16. I think I should have my own room. Hmmphh! It's so hard to decide. But tonight (dawn-ight) lol. I am going to think about it. So, blogging can help me. Ahmmm! Well! It is official. I am going to have my own room. No teddy bears or dolls in sight. I need a bright night light. SERIOUSLY! Soooo, anyway. I am going to have my own room soon. Me, alone, in my own new room. Hope everything will be okay. Anyway, ahmm.. What color should I paint it? What design? Should I use a wallpaper? Or paint it and then wall art it?
Well, I have to see the room and then decide what color I want to paint it or what wallpaper I want to use and all that stuff. So ahmm, I am just going to think what kind of bed and room accessories I want. Well, I want my bed to be the one with drawers, like my parents's bed. Size: Queen. Single is frustrating. I mean if the bed size is single. HAHAHA! wow! that was weird. But in real life, being single is frustrating. lol. Anyway, I want my bed to be a queen bed with drawers. My side tables will be in the color of light pink, and it'll be on both sides of my bed. One on the right, one on the left. And then on top of my bed is a portrait of me. My side table beds on the right will be my digital alarm clock, a photo of me and my family, a photo of me and my sisters and a photo of me and my brothers and also a reading lamp. And then on the left, a reading light, my iPhone holder, a book I'll read before I sleep, a photo of my my grandparents (mom's side and dad's side). My night light will light all the room. So it should be on the middle of the room on the ceiling.
My study table should be large and white. I should have 4 tall bookshelves with 4 sections for each subject. I study like an Einstein so every subjects should have its own shelf. My study table should have four drawers, 2 on the left, 2 on the right. And then the best of all the best. My walk in closet. Pink, should have four sections, one for dresses and gowns, one for tops, one for outerwear like cardigans and sportswear, etcetera and one for jeans and bottoms. In the middle, there will be a big table full of accessories with it's mannequin's heads, hands and necks. Also, a full body female fashion mannequin. Just incase in need of fashion emergency for male, I need a full body male fashion mannequin. There are another 2 sections for my eyewears like my sunglasses and my contact lenses. The other one is for my make up accessories and nail accessories. Also another 2 sections for my footwear and my bags.
THE MOST SPECIAL OF ALL IS THE PLACE WHERE I WILL PRAY. A beautifully designed bookshelf for Al-Quran and Yassin. An always clean, pests free section of my room for me to Sembahyang. <3 This section of my room shall always have light on. <3 :') I am proud to be a Muslim.
Oh, and in addiciton. There will be 3 large comfy couches facing my television (screwed to the wall). 3 colored (pink, green and yellow) bean bags also facing the tv. And the table will only be small but square and short. For control tvs, dvds and astro. And there will also be 2 tall dvd's shelf. Then, there is a section of my room where there will be a 6 seat table, just incase I'm having friends over or my siblings want to eat in my room so we could chat around. :) Also, a small refrigerator on the 'meals' section of my room.
The bathroom. Let it all be pink. :) No tables or seats. It's gonna be weird. O_o o_O
Make up table. All of my perfumes, accessory boxes, hair brushes, combs, hair sprays, hair accessories and all that will be there. Oh and just incase I need to look closer at my face, I'll need a small mirror. :)
Well, those make it sounds like my room is super big. But no. It's not sooo big. Just adequate for me alone. :)
My dream sweet 18 birthday dresses, party, etcetera.
Well, next year it is my 17th birthday. Then my 18th. The day I become a lady. My debut. Like everyone else, they'd like to spend their birthday with those people they love. So do I. My mother is a Filipina, my father is a Bruneian. I am pretty close with all of my mom's family. While on my dad's, not so much. But this doesn't mean I don't love them. I love them because they are my family, when everyone else walk away, they are all I have. I love them because they love me. So, on every of my special day, I'd like to spend my time with them. The whole day with them. I don't care where.
On my 18th birthday. I'd like to celebrate it with my mom's family. I spent my 15th birthday with my mom's family. It was my first time. It was an amazing birthday. One of the best birthdays I have ever had. The night before my birthday, all of my mom's family members, (my uncles, my aunts, my cousins, my grandmas, grandpas) didn't slept for hours until dawn. They were cooking chickens, beefs, porks (since we are Muslim and whatever happens we <I, my siblings and my parents> are not going to eat pork. It's for my guests) and not just beefs, porks and chickens. Also lamb chops and preparing chickens for barbeque. It was so exciting. I couldn't sleep. It was my first time ever spending my birthday with them all. <3 Super special. The next day, it was my birthday. Everyone was getting ready, some already wore their swimsuits. My parents booked a whole place with swimming pool for my birthday. Not what I asked for or expected, I was expecting foods, drinks, dancing, singing and games until dawn with family and friends. I am not much of a social person. But, since my parents did it for me. It's special. My special day.
I was wearing my blue swim suit. I was thin and hot. seriously. WAS! I wish I could say ''Im thin and hot'' now. Like right now. But I cant. :( Anyways, it was magical. Super magical. Now that my 18th birthday is coming <sort of> lol. I want to spend that special day I become a lady with my mom's family in the Philippines which ofcourse is also my family. My 18th birthday party, my debut is a special day for me. Because I finally am a lady on that day. I'm not asking for a big party. I just want a simple one. A happy, magical and simple one. I want to spend my time with my family.
I am going to keep my birthday party fun and maybe a little princess like one. I would like my dresses designed by Pepsi Herrera. (Kidding) <except if that's possible> lol. Anyways, on my 18th birthday party. I'd like to be the party chick. So my theme is what? Party something? As long as it is connected with party stuffs and all that. No strobing lights. I'm allergic to that. I want my dresses to be designed by professional designers. Or dresses I can buy at Rustans. I don't need to dance. That's weird. I don't need any artist to come to my birthday. I just want games till dan, singing and dancing non-stop. I just want it to be on my grandparents house. No need to book a hall or something. It's a lot special spending it at my grandparents house. Oh and I'd like to hire two photographers (my dad says that too) and one videographer. Non of my siblings should be the photographer on that special day. My special day is also theirs. I dont need a big fancy cake. I just want a cake that can serve a lot of people. I want everyone to have fun on my special day and I will too.
I have nothing more to ask actually. The others, I'll let my parents decide. I just wanna have fun with all those I love and I want everyone to have fun too. I just want my dresses to be aweosme because I love fashion and I love dresses. oh wait, gowns! not dresses. gowns and dresses. Oh well, whatever. :) Oh and I dont need 18 roses dance or whatever they call it. :) But I sure will dance with my father for a memory. He is my dad. I am a daddys girl. And dance with my mom too. I am my mom's bff and shopping partner for life. I love my parents more than I love my life. Nothing is more important to me than to have to share my laughters and joys with them. Oh and I'd like to have a dance number with my siblings. Dance like crazy. Dapi will not dance but I am sure he love games. :) Oh oh, much better. On my 18th birthday party, we'll celebrate my siblings birthdays and my parents's wedding anniversaries (04/09 and 28/11) oh and my grandparents golden anniversary. OH MY GOSH! this is the greatest idea ever! I CANT WAIT! <3
Let the foods be simple but delicious. And let there be a gicantic chocolate fountain. ^_^ Oh and we need securities. 'Cause, you know. Well, kidnappers and bullets are dangerous. :S I dont want my birthday to be ruined because of some jealous people and haters. :s
On my 18th birthday. I'd like to celebrate it with my mom's family. I spent my 15th birthday with my mom's family. It was my first time. It was an amazing birthday. One of the best birthdays I have ever had. The night before my birthday, all of my mom's family members, (my uncles, my aunts, my cousins, my grandmas, grandpas) didn't slept for hours until dawn. They were cooking chickens, beefs, porks (since we are Muslim and whatever happens we <I, my siblings and my parents> are not going to eat pork. It's for my guests) and not just beefs, porks and chickens. Also lamb chops and preparing chickens for barbeque. It was so exciting. I couldn't sleep. It was my first time ever spending my birthday with them all. <3 Super special. The next day, it was my birthday. Everyone was getting ready, some already wore their swimsuits. My parents booked a whole place with swimming pool for my birthday. Not what I asked for or expected, I was expecting foods, drinks, dancing, singing and games until dawn with family and friends. I am not much of a social person. But, since my parents did it for me. It's special. My special day.
I was wearing my blue swim suit. I was thin and hot. seriously. WAS! I wish I could say ''Im thin and hot'' now. Like right now. But I cant. :( Anyways, it was magical. Super magical. Now that my 18th birthday is coming <sort of> lol. I want to spend that special day I become a lady with my mom's family in the Philippines which ofcourse is also my family. My 18th birthday party, my debut is a special day for me. Because I finally am a lady on that day. I'm not asking for a big party. I just want a simple one. A happy, magical and simple one. I want to spend my time with my family.
I am going to keep my birthday party fun and maybe a little princess like one. I would like my dresses designed by Pepsi Herrera. (Kidding) <except if that's possible> lol. Anyways, on my 18th birthday party. I'd like to be the party chick. So my theme is what? Party something? As long as it is connected with party stuffs and all that. No strobing lights. I'm allergic to that. I want my dresses to be designed by professional designers. Or dresses I can buy at Rustans. I don't need to dance. That's weird. I don't need any artist to come to my birthday. I just want games till dan, singing and dancing non-stop. I just want it to be on my grandparents house. No need to book a hall or something. It's a lot special spending it at my grandparents house. Oh and I'd like to hire two photographers (my dad says that too) and one videographer. Non of my siblings should be the photographer on that special day. My special day is also theirs. I dont need a big fancy cake. I just want a cake that can serve a lot of people. I want everyone to have fun on my special day and I will too.
I have nothing more to ask actually. The others, I'll let my parents decide. I just wanna have fun with all those I love and I want everyone to have fun too. I just want my dresses to be aweosme because I love fashion and I love dresses. oh wait, gowns! not dresses. gowns and dresses. Oh well, whatever. :) Oh and I dont need 18 roses dance or whatever they call it. :) But I sure will dance with my father for a memory. He is my dad. I am a daddys girl. And dance with my mom too. I am my mom's bff and shopping partner for life. I love my parents more than I love my life. Nothing is more important to me than to have to share my laughters and joys with them. Oh and I'd like to have a dance number with my siblings. Dance like crazy. Dapi will not dance but I am sure he love games. :) Oh oh, much better. On my 18th birthday party, we'll celebrate my siblings birthdays and my parents's wedding anniversaries (04/09 and 28/11) oh and my grandparents golden anniversary. OH MY GOSH! this is the greatest idea ever! I CANT WAIT! <3
Let the foods be simple but delicious. And let there be a gicantic chocolate fountain. ^_^ Oh and we need securities. 'Cause, you know. Well, kidnappers and bullets are dangerous. :S I dont want my birthday to be ruined because of some jealous people and haters. :s
Friendship and my very own confessions
It is now 11:36 PM. I am not asleep yet. I can't sleep. My brother's wedding is tomorrow. Awwww! But that is not the reason why I am now facing my laptop with my fingers moving here and there typing. It's because I can't stop thinking of what a fail friendship I have and had. It's like I feel invisible. And the only reason I could think of is because I don't like hanging out (also because I am 16, my dad and my mom strictly forbid me going anywhere, 14 years old girls are pregnant nowadays) oh and because I study all the time. I barely have time chatting (I deleted my msn account), I barely update my status on facebook and because I am not a very interesting person. Well behind all that, I also realize that it's because I am friends with famous people and talented people. Qidah is good with dancing and almost all of the boys she knows, she gets. Sabrina is pretty busy with her dancing-career. She is a working student. Geemah is a half-time model. I am a nerd who pretty much focus on getting an A in everything, pass everything, insecure about my height (5'2), my weight (70kg) and people's talking behind my back about my face. well, I may not be pretty like those other people but as you all know, I was. Seriously. I was thin before. I guess my fats also go to my face. So, I'm not now. Oh. My haters love this. Don't you? (If you are reading)
Anyways, it is also because I lie a lot. I lied about being busy when I actually was watching tv. I can't explain it to them. I am so busy studying for two hours and I only stop when my favorite shows are on so it's like 1 hour and 30 minutes. And some of the things I wasnt lying about, they thought I was. I didn't lie about my grandfather's lands. Okay so before everyone else get this wrong. I am not showing off now or before. I was telling my friends about how frustrated I was and sad and lonely when my grandfather died. I love him so much, until now. I never had spending my time with him like my cousins did. I don't wanna talk about that now. I am enough confessing other stuffs that should be kept hidden. My family can blame me if I reveal more. So, I told my friends about my grandfather's lands. It's true he gave every each one of us. My dad (including my mom, me and my siblings) and ofcourse my father's siblings together with their husbands/wives and my cousins.
But the biggest lie I have ever told my friends, the biggest mistake and the most I regret of is telling them I have a brain cancer and I'm dying. I KNOW! I KNOW! stupid! idiot! me! I know! I regret that until now. I told them that because I am tired of losing my friends. I am tire dof being invisible and I am sad about that. When I was in grade 6, I had lots of friends because I was the favorite of every teachers. And then, unexpectedly, the girls were talking behind my back, laughing about me and hating me. I am sick of that, I am sad of that. I'm just sad. So sad. But I couldnt confront my friends and admit to them about this big lie. I'm scared that they'll hate me more. Plus, I know that they know it was a lie.
This one true thing I didn't lie about is not neccessary for me to confess here and it's also dangerous and forbidden. Well, I had friends when I was in grade 6 at the religious school too. Lots of them. We were like sisters. We care about each other and we treat each other equally. We share everything together and when someone is in trouble or in sadness, we tell each other and help each other. We were that close. We made a group called 'Death Princess'. All girls. There were 8 of us in that group. I was the closest to the leader, Farah who is now known as Haqasha. She invented that name with my help.
I am not in the same class witht he other 5 girls. Okay, wait. Let me explain this further. There were 7 before the new girl came to school. She was in my class and Nora. When Haqasha met her, she became part of the group too as the number 8 girl. She was pretty, fair and lady-like. I was short, dark skin and hardly noticed by the boys in our class. When we all were in the hall for praying. We were all having our period. What a coincidence. I know right. lol. So anyways, Haqasha assigned seats for every each one of us. We were seniors. After grade six in religious school, we're finish and will only be focusing on morning to afternoon classes. Anyways, Haqasha assigned seats for every each one of us. Now before I tell you the bad thing, let me tell you this first. I was always, always, always and again always the one sitting next to Haqasha. The first time we met each other, we immediately became close. We were bffs to the bone. Well, when that rotten girl came to school, she took my seat which Haqasha organized. Infront of me, Haqasha said to her ''You sit here next to me'' and aske dme to sit next to that new girl. It's like this new girl is the wall to my friendship with Haqasha.
Since then, I am never friends with so many people. My friendships are all disasters. I could make a book out of it. Plus, I am not a very good conversationalist. I don't talk a lot to new people or to people I am not used to hang with or see everyday. Well, sometimes I do. Only if we have the same interests or likes. Plus, some people are quite sensitive. I am a little bit dramatic when I tell stories or response in social networking like chatting, facebook, twitter and other stuffs. So, I always ignore and sometimes I sort of keep it cool. I am afraid that my response will unintentionally hurt their feelings. Plus I am not like the others who seriously know how to make someone feel comfortable and okay with. I don't know. People will never understand. Never ever ever will.
But I do hope someday, I can have that long-lasting friendship. I can be conversational and fun and outgoing and I don't know what else. But I can assure one thing. I am not stingy, arrogant and selfish. Tell me anything, I'll listen. 100% all ears. I'll understand. Joke anything with me, I am not the 100% good girl. I listen to some people dirty jokes too. BUT NOT TOO DIRTY! AND DON'T EVER SIT NEXT TO ME IF YOU DO THAT! LOL. seriously.
CONFFESSIONS:-
(1) I don't like being friends with people who intentionally hurt and humiliate me (who does?)
(2) I have anger issues. So sometimes, when I just am furious about the attitude, I don't care where and when, I will make a scene!
(3) Don't lie to me. I can tell.
(4) I love every friends I ever had and friends I have now. Like my sisters/brothers.
(5) I am not a secretive person. Tell me your secrets. They are all safe with me. I know a lotta secrets. If you ask every each friends I have or had, I assure you 100% they'll say it's true.
(6) I hate how someone is faking, hating and like spying or something. So if you decided to be one of those or be all of those, think twice. I'm not dumb.
Well, This is all. I hope you enjoyed. Keep up with me. I got loads of things I wanna talk about. Pardon me again for saying talk instead of type. :)
Anyways, it is also because I lie a lot. I lied about being busy when I actually was watching tv. I can't explain it to them. I am so busy studying for two hours and I only stop when my favorite shows are on so it's like 1 hour and 30 minutes. And some of the things I wasnt lying about, they thought I was. I didn't lie about my grandfather's lands. Okay so before everyone else get this wrong. I am not showing off now or before. I was telling my friends about how frustrated I was and sad and lonely when my grandfather died. I love him so much, until now. I never had spending my time with him like my cousins did. I don't wanna talk about that now. I am enough confessing other stuffs that should be kept hidden. My family can blame me if I reveal more. So, I told my friends about my grandfather's lands. It's true he gave every each one of us. My dad (including my mom, me and my siblings) and ofcourse my father's siblings together with their husbands/wives and my cousins.
But the biggest lie I have ever told my friends, the biggest mistake and the most I regret of is telling them I have a brain cancer and I'm dying. I KNOW! I KNOW! stupid! idiot! me! I know! I regret that until now. I told them that because I am tired of losing my friends. I am tire dof being invisible and I am sad about that. When I was in grade 6, I had lots of friends because I was the favorite of every teachers. And then, unexpectedly, the girls were talking behind my back, laughing about me and hating me. I am sick of that, I am sad of that. I'm just sad. So sad. But I couldnt confront my friends and admit to them about this big lie. I'm scared that they'll hate me more. Plus, I know that they know it was a lie.
This one true thing I didn't lie about is not neccessary for me to confess here and it's also dangerous and forbidden. Well, I had friends when I was in grade 6 at the religious school too. Lots of them. We were like sisters. We care about each other and we treat each other equally. We share everything together and when someone is in trouble or in sadness, we tell each other and help each other. We were that close. We made a group called 'Death Princess'. All girls. There were 8 of us in that group. I was the closest to the leader, Farah who is now known as Haqasha. She invented that name with my help.
I am not in the same class witht he other 5 girls. Okay, wait. Let me explain this further. There were 7 before the new girl came to school. She was in my class and Nora. When Haqasha met her, she became part of the group too as the number 8 girl. She was pretty, fair and lady-like. I was short, dark skin and hardly noticed by the boys in our class. When we all were in the hall for praying. We were all having our period. What a coincidence. I know right. lol. So anyways, Haqasha assigned seats for every each one of us. We were seniors. After grade six in religious school, we're finish and will only be focusing on morning to afternoon classes. Anyways, Haqasha assigned seats for every each one of us. Now before I tell you the bad thing, let me tell you this first. I was always, always, always and again always the one sitting next to Haqasha. The first time we met each other, we immediately became close. We were bffs to the bone. Well, when that rotten girl came to school, she took my seat which Haqasha organized. Infront of me, Haqasha said to her ''You sit here next to me'' and aske dme to sit next to that new girl. It's like this new girl is the wall to my friendship with Haqasha.
Since then, I am never friends with so many people. My friendships are all disasters. I could make a book out of it. Plus, I am not a very good conversationalist. I don't talk a lot to new people or to people I am not used to hang with or see everyday. Well, sometimes I do. Only if we have the same interests or likes. Plus, some people are quite sensitive. I am a little bit dramatic when I tell stories or response in social networking like chatting, facebook, twitter and other stuffs. So, I always ignore and sometimes I sort of keep it cool. I am afraid that my response will unintentionally hurt their feelings. Plus I am not like the others who seriously know how to make someone feel comfortable and okay with. I don't know. People will never understand. Never ever ever will.
But I do hope someday, I can have that long-lasting friendship. I can be conversational and fun and outgoing and I don't know what else. But I can assure one thing. I am not stingy, arrogant and selfish. Tell me anything, I'll listen. 100% all ears. I'll understand. Joke anything with me, I am not the 100% good girl. I listen to some people dirty jokes too. BUT NOT TOO DIRTY! AND DON'T EVER SIT NEXT TO ME IF YOU DO THAT! LOL. seriously.
CONFFESSIONS:-
(1) I don't like being friends with people who intentionally hurt and humiliate me (who does?)
(2) I have anger issues. So sometimes, when I just am furious about the attitude, I don't care where and when, I will make a scene!
(3) Don't lie to me. I can tell.
(4) I love every friends I ever had and friends I have now. Like my sisters/brothers.
(5) I am not a secretive person. Tell me your secrets. They are all safe with me. I know a lotta secrets. If you ask every each friends I have or had, I assure you 100% they'll say it's true.
(6) I hate how someone is faking, hating and like spying or something. So if you decided to be one of those or be all of those, think twice. I'm not dumb.
Well, This is all. I hope you enjoyed. Keep up with me. I got loads of things I wanna talk about. Pardon me again for saying talk instead of type. :)
Marriage
When I was a little girl, I never had the time thinking about what life really is. I only knew fun. I was an innocent little, fun-lover girl. How I wish I could turn back time and be in the position playing that sweet, green, four tires bicycle and pause that moment for life. But life and time have no reset or pause buttons. All life and time have is moving on, be broken and not move at all. That is live, be sick and die. Life is also being with those people you love and lose them or be alone and lose your mind. Someone told me once, that everyone have their own partner. That partner who you'll spend your life with forever. The partner who will forgive you because they love you. Who care about you and be anxious for even just a little bite from insects, let alone serious injuries. That partner will be legally yours forever, not just in papers, in God's words too. Marriage.
It is really sweet to see two couples, share their laughs and sadness together. Who will let her cry on his shoulder while he wraps his arm around the girl's shoulder. Who will tell her she's pretty when everyone else says she's not. Who will love her for her and forgive her for all of her mistakes. And I am not just going to talk about the boy. The girl is infact the big deal in a relationship. Now, most girls are sensitive, jealous type and somehow annoying. But this doesn't mean they don't love and care. They are the bigger deal in a relationship. The one who will make the boy realize, he is so lucky to have her. She forgive him for all his mistakes and will still say that sweet sweet word ''I love you''. He'll realize that her wedding finger will have his proposal ring on. She don't care if it's diamonds or golds. She'll be happy and excited and oh that feelings when someone is getting married.
I am just 16, I am not into marriage or getting married. I still have so many plans and dreams and ambitions. I know the feelings because my brother just got married yesterday (16/09/2011). When I saw his face, it was the most glowing and happiest face ever. Above all of the other men in the world, he had the most glowing face ever. I felt like, different. I smiled and said ''He's so happy''. The marriage was so beautiful. It was so magical and I loved how obviously excited my brother was. I couldn't stop smiling either. I even asked my mother what was that feeling when you're almost going to spend your forever life with dad. She said, ''Well, it is awkward to talk about marriage with you because you are sixteen. But since you asked, it's exciting and you feel like your heart can't stop beating''. I can tell my brother felt that too and I bet he felt more than that. He was smiling all the time. He even talked like a fast talking robot. He was obviously excited! Soooo beautiful.
Now before you guys get all dizzy with all the brother thing, 'cause you all know I am the eldest. And I'm 16 so my brother must be 15. Well no. My brother who got married yesterday was 20+. He's my half brother. My dad married twice. My mom is my dad's second wife. I am not comfortable telling people about my dad marrying twice or even thinking and talking about it. So, I am just going to talk about something else. Oh and pardon me for 'TALKING' instead of 'TYPING'. lol
So, I am 16, again. Marriage is not the thing I'm kinda like thinking of. Ofcourse, I'm 16. Marriage is not supposed to be the thing a 16 year old be thinking of. They should be thinking of their future and what they'd like to be someday. No worries, I got all that in my mind, my heart and my book. BUT, I gotta gotta gotta share this with you guys. Cross everything you have, I hope this wouldn't surprise you. But yesterday, looking at my brother, I suddenly thought of dream marriage-theme, dresses, invitaion card-like, etcetera. WOW! It must be so awkward if we're like face to face talking about it!
But I'm sure some of the things I want is not going to happen because to get married you have to share and discuss with that person you are going to spend the rest of your life with and the almost your husband or wife. And marriage is not about having a pretty, perfect, sparkly, glittery and awesome one. It's about how happy you will be after your marriage. Wether you are going to marry twice, 5 to 6 times. lol.
Anyway, to me. Marriage should only be once. Not twice or thrice or 4 to 6 times. Sorry Dad. hehe. I'm just saying. *Just incase my dad is going to view my blog and read this* But if ever that happens to certain people *hopefully not to me* well, sometimes that person is not for you and you have to deal with it. But don't let anger be the reason why you got into divorce and all that. I HATE DIVORCES BECAUSE OF ANGER! It's stupid.
Some people, marry other people by force. Like the parents picked for the child but the child don't love that person. It's so so so sad. And most cases are because the boy or girl's family is wealthy and they will soon inherit the wealth when time comes. People should get married because they love and like each other for thier own reasons. If he married her (not by force) because of her wealth, then that's his problem. And it's also the opposite if the girl do the same.
Well, I hope you enjoyed reading. :)
It is really sweet to see two couples, share their laughs and sadness together. Who will let her cry on his shoulder while he wraps his arm around the girl's shoulder. Who will tell her she's pretty when everyone else says she's not. Who will love her for her and forgive her for all of her mistakes. And I am not just going to talk about the boy. The girl is infact the big deal in a relationship. Now, most girls are sensitive, jealous type and somehow annoying. But this doesn't mean they don't love and care. They are the bigger deal in a relationship. The one who will make the boy realize, he is so lucky to have her. She forgive him for all his mistakes and will still say that sweet sweet word ''I love you''. He'll realize that her wedding finger will have his proposal ring on. She don't care if it's diamonds or golds. She'll be happy and excited and oh that feelings when someone is getting married.
I am just 16, I am not into marriage or getting married. I still have so many plans and dreams and ambitions. I know the feelings because my brother just got married yesterday (16/09/2011). When I saw his face, it was the most glowing and happiest face ever. Above all of the other men in the world, he had the most glowing face ever. I felt like, different. I smiled and said ''He's so happy''. The marriage was so beautiful. It was so magical and I loved how obviously excited my brother was. I couldn't stop smiling either. I even asked my mother what was that feeling when you're almost going to spend your forever life with dad. She said, ''Well, it is awkward to talk about marriage with you because you are sixteen. But since you asked, it's exciting and you feel like your heart can't stop beating''. I can tell my brother felt that too and I bet he felt more than that. He was smiling all the time. He even talked like a fast talking robot. He was obviously excited! Soooo beautiful.
Now before you guys get all dizzy with all the brother thing, 'cause you all know I am the eldest. And I'm 16 so my brother must be 15. Well no. My brother who got married yesterday was 20+. He's my half brother. My dad married twice. My mom is my dad's second wife. I am not comfortable telling people about my dad marrying twice or even thinking and talking about it. So, I am just going to talk about something else. Oh and pardon me for 'TALKING' instead of 'TYPING'. lol
So, I am 16, again. Marriage is not the thing I'm kinda like thinking of. Ofcourse, I'm 16. Marriage is not supposed to be the thing a 16 year old be thinking of. They should be thinking of their future and what they'd like to be someday. No worries, I got all that in my mind, my heart and my book. BUT, I gotta gotta gotta share this with you guys. Cross everything you have, I hope this wouldn't surprise you. But yesterday, looking at my brother, I suddenly thought of dream marriage-theme, dresses, invitaion card-like, etcetera. WOW! It must be so awkward if we're like face to face talking about it!
But I'm sure some of the things I want is not going to happen because to get married you have to share and discuss with that person you are going to spend the rest of your life with and the almost your husband or wife. And marriage is not about having a pretty, perfect, sparkly, glittery and awesome one. It's about how happy you will be after your marriage. Wether you are going to marry twice, 5 to 6 times. lol.
Anyway, to me. Marriage should only be once. Not twice or thrice or 4 to 6 times. Sorry Dad. hehe. I'm just saying. *Just incase my dad is going to view my blog and read this* But if ever that happens to certain people *hopefully not to me* well, sometimes that person is not for you and you have to deal with it. But don't let anger be the reason why you got into divorce and all that. I HATE DIVORCES BECAUSE OF ANGER! It's stupid.
Some people, marry other people by force. Like the parents picked for the child but the child don't love that person. It's so so so sad. And most cases are because the boy or girl's family is wealthy and they will soon inherit the wealth when time comes. People should get married because they love and like each other for thier own reasons. If he married her (not by force) because of her wealth, then that's his problem. And it's also the opposite if the girl do the same.
Well, I hope you enjoyed reading. :)
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